Going Out

We've gathered a lot of courage in the past two weeks. Although I have had friends tell me that they took their babies out into the world just four or five days after they got home from the hospital, we've opted for the more cautious route- eating in, declining invitations, DVR, and generally chilling at home. And we have loved it.

But I think that we are embarking on a new chapter, one that involves interacting with the outside world. Just this week, Huelan had three big firsts: walking the lake with Gramma and Papa, Lake Tahoe, & Mason's party.

Part of what has kept us home were (valid) concerns about germs and weather, and logistics. The last thing we want is a sick baby, but we also know that we can't keep her in a bubble forever (I'll save that for ages 12-25). And with the rain giving us a reprieve, we figured we should capitalize. As for the logistics piece, I guess we just learn as we go.

Unfortunately, I couldn't be at Stowe Lake with Gramma and Papa, which was a cool milestone. I think a First like this is one that most people don't consider until later in life- the first time you take your grandchild for a walk. Lynn's been walking around that lake for years with her walking group, but it's probably been over a decade since she's pushed a stroller around with her.

The next test was two nights in Lake Tahoe. Sometime Thursday afternoon, Vivien invited us to come up and spend the weekend with her and Jason at their place in south lake. It would just be the five of us, and it only took Liz and I about five minutes to decide that I would take Friday off and we'd head up that evening. Though it looked and felt like we had overpacked, we ended up with just the right amount of gear for Huelan; we were happy to have the extra outfits, since the difference in altitude had an explosive effect.

Nicole otherwise did great, and we had a fantastic time. Like many babies, she is really comfortable in her carseat, and she slept the entire trip both ways. That little thing is like magic. In a restaurant, she'll be asleep from the car ride and continue to nap tableside sitting in the carseat. If she wakes up, she usually just looks around for a bit and drifts off again.

Then today we went to Mason's 3rd bithday party in Pacifica. We only stayed a few hours, but it was long enough for Nicole to get fawned over by nearly every female there. Good food, good friends, good party. And on the way home, I did my Nicole impression and passed out as soon as Liz put the car in gear.

Going out is fun, and it's good for Nicole (as long as we keep her away from sick people). But another big benefit is Liz's sanity. She hasn't complained a peep during these last nine weeks of near-isolation, but being deprived of regular adult interaction is tough. And I don't count. Happy mommy + Happy baby = Happy daddy.

Here are some pics from out outings

2 Months

Last Saturday we reached the 2 month mark with Huelan, and we all are doing really well. She weighed in at 9lbs, 13oz, and measured 22&3/8 inches at her last doc's visit, which is all right on track. She's got a few new rolls of chubb around her legs and arms, and she's storing a healthy amount of milk calories in her cheeks and chin too. Her hair's getting longer, and it's actually turning a light brown. It's wavy, and sometimes it gets a little wave like a baby pompadour.

Mornings are usually good for her, and when I don't have early appointments, I can hang out with her for a bit and give Liz a little rest. When Huelan's alert and interactive, it's a lot of fun for us. We'll make faces, sounds and sing-song to get her to react, and when we get a smile it's pretty much the best thing ever. She'll even coo back sometimes, and we can almost have a conversation.

We're getting braver with taking her out, and we went to a relaxed brunch at Lake Chalet last weekend (build your own bloody mary bar). We took advantage of the sun and strolled her around the lake. She slept most of the time. We're trying to make an effort to expose her to new things, especially outside, but with more rain expected this week, we'll probably be home, so come by and visit! If you can't make it, here are a few pics.

You're Awesome

Yeasayer - Ambling Alp

School's been pretty busy lately.

Happy Birthday Vu

 

I know, I'm a day late. I suck at birthdays.

Heads Up

Huelan is eight weeks old today, and is doing great. To celebrate, this weekend she got a visit from some out-of-towners: Joy, Karen, Ruben and Joaquin.

We also did an unofficial weigh in yesterday at Grandma & Papa's, and with clothes on she tipped the scales at a whopping 10lbs, 6oz. Liz and I can tell that she's definitely longer and she's plumping up, but we were suprised she passed 10lbs for some reason. I guess it's parental nature to be taken off guard at how quickly their kids have grown, even as infants.

We were suprised at another thing she learned this week- she's just about able to support her own head! Check out the pic above & vid below.

Tomorrow we take her to her doctor for a scheduled exam and we'll get an official weight. Along with some shots, which I hear suck. Supposedly the baby forgets almost immediately, but I am more concerned about Liz and I being scarred forever.

Number One Hits

With a new baby, one of the sweetest things is all of her "firsts." We try to celebrate and record every milestone with her, and that's a lot of fun in itself. There is a slightly bitter side, though- that a first only happens once. I know all parents dote on their babies, and now I know why. I'll paraphrase my friend Omar- you've got to try to soak up every one of those moments because they're finite; you've got to be greedy with every little smile and coo. That's exactly how I feel.

This week, we had a couple of especially fun firsts- Valentine's day and the Lunar New Year. People always ask me about Vietnamese new year (called Tet) and Chinese new year. They are the same holiday, based on the lunar calendar, and many of the traditions are the same. Principally, eating a ton.

Along with Nicole's first Tet, she got her first jewelery- a necklace and charm with her Chinese zodiac sign on it (year of the Ox), and a little jade heart charm. And of course she got her first red envelopes, which she'll learn to look forward to every year for the next couple of decades.

Some other fun recent firsts:
- Keeping her head up upright by herself
- Loud giggles
- Liz's first sushi in over a year- our pre-Val dinner at Kirala
- Grandma and Papa's first time watching Nicole while we went out
- Nicole's first time meeting Zachary (thanks for the lasagna!)

Also, a notable second- Ba Noi's second visit to spend time with Huelan. She is having a blast, just like the first time.

Here are some pics from the past few weeks.

Ribbit

When babies start to get chubby, baby people call it "thriving." Apparently babies don't have the abdominal muscles to keep all of their insides tight. I call it frogbelly. Affectionately, of course.

Owned

It might just be that you've never owned anyone quite like you did when you were an infant and you owned your parents. Your boss can't make you change his diapers 12 times a day. The bank that owns your mortgage can't make you get up every few hours around the clock. And as she gets older, we'll expect her to fend for herself to some degree. But now, she has us right where she wants us- wrapped around her tiny finger. Liz and I just had a laughing fit wondering out loud when we'll ever get to sleep through an entire night again (we muffled ourselves, careful not to wake her).

Don't get me wrong- it's a joy. It's just totally without reprieve.

But it is getting a little easier. We've gotten through most of our N.A.D. issues and Nicole Huelan is six weeks old now. She's increasingly awake & alert, and those are the fun times. Just in the last day or two, Liz and I think that she's beginning to make social smiles. She's more interactive now, and seems to be very curious about us, even recognizing our voices from across the room. She loves following us with her eyes, but then again she also does that with her mobiles, so I am not sure she knows the difference.

Another benefit of this age is that she is beginning to have a schedule. We can usually count on her to take a long morning nap and another two or three in the afternoon. At night, we've been giving her a big "dose" of milk around 10pm in hopes that it'll tide her over for 3.5 - 4 hours. Four uninterupted, blissful hours of sleep. Yes, she owns us.

This past weekend was actually a milestone. During her morning nap, we took her out of the house for the first time (excluding the Sunset and the doctor's). We played it safe on Saturday, taking her to our Pho spot. Pho is served quickly and we can scarf it in case a quick getaway was necessary. But she slept the whole time and we were able to eat leisurely.

Sunday, we got the idea to hit up Aunt Mary's for brunch. This is a longer service and a louder spot, but she did equally well. She woke up for a while, which had us ready to spring into parental action, but she soothed herself and fell back asleep in her carseat. The pic above is us outside Aunt Mary's- notice how happy we are to have some sun on us.

This brings up another question. When the hostess asks how many, what do we say? a table for two is usually not big enough if we have the carseat, and defintely too small if we have the stroller. But if you say three, they usually sit you at a four-top, which would annoy a waiter during a busy brunch. So maybe two and a half is the right answer? Hmmm... we need more experience.

As a token of appreciation for getting through this rambling, scatted post, here's the link to Nicole Huelan's most current pics.

Had 'Em, Lost 'Em

Nicole needs to be soothed pretty regularly. It sounds weird, but the experts say that sometimes babies get over-tired and just don't know how to get themselves to sleep, which leads to frustration and crying. We've definitely seen this with Nicole, and we usually intervene by letter her pacify herself for a few minutes on one of our fingers. When she's tired, it's like magic- she can be fully asleep in less than a minute. But we have to be careful, because if we pull the pinky out too early, she'll root around for it and have little convulsions (funnier than it sounds).

But really, self-sooting is the goal. Nicole found her fingers pretty early, but the trouble is she doesn't quite know how to keep them in her mouth, as you can see in the vid clip.

To The Day

We celebrated one month with Nicole Huelan today. Liz and I can't actually decide if seems like it's been a long time or whether time has flown by. A little of both I suppose.

Perhaps we really started bonding with her well before she was born, talking to her and getting ready for her arrival, making it seem like so much longer than a mere 30 days. Or maybe it's just our screwed up sleep cycles that have distorted our sense of time.

She has definitely changed a lot in just a month. We can see it in her face and body- she's no longer the puffy little bundle all wrapped up in a blanket. She is starting to make little cooing noises and gurgles that have me completely smitten. She can track our faces if we move slowly from side to side (and if she's in the mood). And she's eating more, which is helping her get noticeably stronger, heavier, and more active.

Some of the books we read tell us what to expect at 2 and 3 months, but that feels like a long way from now. We hope next month will be as fun as this one has been (except with more sleep).

The More We Change...

Being around an infant these last few weeks made me realize that there are some things we do as adults that we are pretty much programmed to do from the womb. For instance, people believe that the reason that newborns like to sleep all day and stay awake at night is because all day the mother in rocking them to sleep in utero by walking around and going about her daily business. They are soothed all the voices and sounds mommy hears, not to mention all the goings-on inside mommy's belly. Then at night, when mommy is sleeping and it's quiet out, they are more active. After they are born, we still rock them to soothe them, some people even resorting to placing them on a clothes drier or taking them for a drive. And as adults, those same gentle vibrations soothe us and put us right to sleep; how many people do you know who can't manage to stay alseep on a long car ride? How many people sleep better with a little white noise like rain falling?

Then there's the sucking instinct, perhaps the strongest instinct newborns have. Babies must be strong sucklers to stay alive, and they even want to satisfy their sucking instinct right after they eat, even when they are full. Maybe this is the origin of the oral fixation in adults- gum chewing, fingernail biting, cigarette smoking, and recreational eating?

Just a thought...

By the weigh- Nicole Huelan got up to 7lbs, 5.6 oz at her doc's visit this week.

Some more recent pics here

Ba Noi

In Vietmanese, the Ba Noi is the grandmother on the paternal side, i.e. what my mom is to Nicole. Nicole's Ba Noi was here December 22-25, hoping that she could coax Nicole out to join us. Unfortunately, Nicole waited another day and Ba Noi missed her granddaughter's debut.

So it was an agonizing two weeks for Ba Noi, made only barely more tolerable by phone calls and Skype, but she finally met Nicole Huelan last week. You've never seen anyone happier to hear a baby cry- she didn't stop grinning the entire time. Ba Noi delivered and raised plenty of her own kids, but it's been a while since she's held a newborn. Her and my step dad fought over the right to hold, soothe, and change diapers for 48 hours straight.

In the few minutes that she wasn't exercising her matriarchal right to spoil her only grandchild, she even had time to make us a few soups and other comfort foods. Ahhhh, everybody wins when Ba Noi is in town. We all had a blast and can't wait to get them together again soon.

N.A.D.

Newborn Anxiety Disorder. If I could patent a pill for it we'd make trillions. The reason is that I believe anxiety is the most common, universal emotion for new parents next to love & affection. From the "What do we do now?" moment when the door closes after you bring your child home for the first time until they can effectively communicate, it's a constant guessing game of "What does this mean?" & "What does that mean?"

It's the uncertainty that is the most vexing. My buddy Michael said that when babies cry there are just three things they could need: food, diaper change, or hugs. Pretty simple sounding, but easy to agonize over. Is she getting enough food? Should we supplement with formula? Should we wake her to finish eating? Is she going through a normal number of diapers? Is the cream we are using right for her? Are we picking her up too much? Too little? What are the long term consequences of giving her a pacifier? Are we spoiling her? Seriously, it can be endless, and the crazy part is that it's often impossible to know.

One good anti-anxiety cure we have found is reading about newborns. There is a lot of information out there, and we tried to read some before Nicole was born, but it just didn't quite make sense to us then. Now, however, it's very reassuring to find a paragraph or two that aptly describes what she is doing and how she is acting- it's good to know that she's not doing anything too weird.

Really, though, we are very fortunate to have friends & family with a lot of experience who we can lean on. Nicole has already changed a lot in her 2.5 weeks on earth, and having people who can give us some insight on what to expect makes all the difference. We even have a personal Lactation Consultant who makes an incredible meatball tortellini soup (thanks Corina!).

When we're frustrated because we can't figure out how to ease her pain, it can drive us crazy and make us question what we are doing. I think that puts us in the same company as all the parents who have ever lived. Sometimes we have found that "I don't know," is the right answer and we are content with that. Cindy said something we really like- that it's impossible to spoil a newborn. So, when in doubt, we are going to err on the side of more hugs.


BTW- Nicole Huelan is up to 6lbs, 15oz and 20.75 inches. Some new pics here.

Mini, Funny Things

Pretty much everything a baby does is funny and/or cute. Even the most simple and mundane functions for a grown person are super cute when babies do them because it reminds you that they are mini people. Mini people doing mini things. Super mini.



This video is of Nicole Huelan at one of her more alert times- ready to nurse, but (just) before she gets vocal about it. She has the baby hiccups, yawns and sneezes. Hopefully you'll be able to hear her. Her mini feet are also kicking like a mini Pele. It's about 3 mins long.

Initiation

When you pledge a fraternity, there is a stage called Initiation Week, or I-Week. It's a time where you're basically cut off from the outside world and taught the final bits of knowledge necessary for entrance into the fraternity. You are supposed to come out the other side with new new-found appreciation and bond, much of it brought on by some physical and mental hazing, augmented by sleep depriviation.

A lot like our first week with Nicole.

We have learned a lot this week, but just when we think we have her figured out, she throws us a curve ball. She has us ecstatic over the smallest actions and bodily functions, but she also has us up at all hours of the night. It's hilarious how Liz and I talk about what might be happening, how we guess at what some action or behavior means. "Maybe that means she's full." "Maybe that means she's tired." "Maybe that means she wants us to dress her up in her favorite outfit." It's a very amusing game.

And in just one short week, she has learned some new cries. In addition to the way she was born singing, she now has a low, throaty wail and a short, staccato one. There are some people who actually say they can decode them. We are not that sophisticated yet, but she's teaching us.

It looks like this initiation is going to last longer than one week....